Three Plagues…so far

I thought I’d share with you why my post went up so late yesterday, and why the post I had planned for today fell through:

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That, friends of the internet, is a wasp. A wasp INSIDE my apartment.

But that’s not where this story began. Let’s go back to two weeks ago.

Plague #1: Spiders

We started off spring with the first plague – spiders. Our apartment has a wooded area behind it, and one of the lovely side effects of having that many trees is spiders. Big ones. Normally, spiders don’t bug me too much. They stay out of my way, and eat the other creepy-crawlies that show up in our apartment. But not these spiders, no. They like to scurry around the living room floor while we’re watching TV, or when I’m trying to relax after a long day at work. They don’t seem to give two shits that I’m trying to live my life.

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(This isn’t even a very big one. The larger ones are about twice as big, and while I get this is child’s play compared to spiders in other parts of the world…I’m a big baby about spiders, and totally recognize that. But still…not fun to deal with.)

My husband and I also greatly disagree with how to handle them. I like using the cleansing power of the bottom of my shoe. When I was a kid, I was the sadistic one who sprayed them down with Aqua Net until they died, then threw them out my bedroom window as a warning to the others. My husband, on the other hand, prefers the “catch and release” method. I think this is stupid because I’m telling you, the same spiders keep coming back in the apartment over and over again. He’ll toss one out the front door, and the next morning I’ll find one the same size on our living room wall. But that’s not even the worst thing we’ve been dealing with lately…

Plague #2: Rusty Water

So when D. decided to take a shower Monday night, I knew something was wrong when he turned on the faucet, turned it off, and said “Oh…hey honey, get up here.” I asked what was wrong, and all he said was, in a somewhat angry tone, “Get. Up. Here.”

The water coming out of our bathtub faucet was disgusting – somewhere between orange and brown. It reeked of rust. He was not happy, and neither was I – since I was planning on taking a shower right after him. My hair was gross, I still had on a full face of makeup, and all the faucets in the house were pushing out orange water.

After looking it up online, I found that the only explanation was a pretty bad one, and that was a water main break, or a broken pipe in our apartment. Since it was nighttime, and our apartment’s maintenance people barely show up to fix things as it is, I decided to try contacting the water company. We used filtered water to brush our teeth, and  used my Caudalie Cleansing Water to take off my makeup, and doused my hair in dry shampoo.

Luckily, I got an email first thing Tuesday morning saying that the city was draining their fire hydrants, and that this kind of thing was perfectly normal. Crisis averted. I spent the morning running the water until it was clear, and took a nice, long shower.

However, after my shower, I went to get dressed and found plague #3.

Plague #3: Wasps

What could possibly be worse than a wasp in your house?

Two.

Two very angry, aggressive wasps. Both occupying the two rooms in the house you use most when you work from home.

The first one I found on Sunday in our apartment’s office. I got it trapped between the window and the blinds, and so far it’s still there. I tried to open the window yesterday morning, but every time I did, it would dive-bomb my hand. So I said “screw this,”  grabbed my computer and my schoolwork, and headed downstairs.

That’s where I found wasp #2. He was flying around the living room, crashing into walls and trying to chase me around every time I moved. So I opened the door to try and see if I could get it outside, and ran right into about half a dozen more outside my door. The picture I took above was after the dumb shit got stuck between the window and the outside screen. It’s still there, and shows no signs of calming down. But at least now it’s not in the apartment.

Sure enough, I went outside, looked up, and found two very large wasp nests under the gutters of our building…which also happens to be right above our office window. Since we’re in an apartment, I can’t do anything about it besides call maintenance – and they are mediocre at best at dealing with anything…so for now, the windows stay closed. Which is a bummer, because it’s so nice outside.

So there are my plagues so far. Stay tuned for more plagues, which based on past experiences in our apartment could be any of the following:

Slugs (so gross)
Baby Turtles (totally true…and the cutest plague ever, by the way)
Ants (which we’re already working on)
Pill Bugs (they freak me out)
Cats (they like to pee right in front of our apartment…gross)
Neighbors (but I guess they’re always a problem…so dumb and loud)

I hope you are all having a better week than I am right now! We’re now spending the next few weeks looking for a new place to live because between this and the other things that go wrong in our apartment, we’re ready to get the F outta here. 🙂

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